Never a Dull Moment…

So for the first time in many years I have gotten news that the ex is doing something seemingly selfless and in efforts to put his children’s needs first…

Yesterday I was informed that he is moving out of the paramour’s condo (after three months of living there) because “the kids aren’t dealing with his living arrangements very well“.  He is now, two and a half years after our split, moving BACK to the area the children and I live (even though his commute is a bitch, don’t cha know!).

My reaction is a bit surprising to me.

I have to first admit, my old habits have kicked in…”maybe he is realizing the damage that he is doing to his relationships with his family (us-not just the kids)” and now “things will be different”.  This roller coaster is one I am intimately familiar with…I lived it and breathed it the last five/six years of our marriage after he decided he needed a sexy new job working for our federal government…

…this is a dangerous place for me to go.  How I know that, is because every time I have EVER gone there, it didn’t end in happy places of “YAY”…there would always be some proof that, “no, he is still the same self-centered ‘it’s all about me’ person he has always been”…and maybe that is about me.  Maybe that is about my lack of being able to accept him for who he is…

My reaction is actually positive.  I am happy.  Happy for the kids that he seems to be  making this move FOR them…but I also realize that I don’t know the whole story.  There are many possible scenarios.  Here are a couple I’ve come up with…

DREAM #1 – He is finally seeing his paramour for what she truly is, and is feeling regret about the choices he has made over the past three years and is taking the first steps in making amends.  HAHAHA I guess maybe!? Yeah, DOUBTFUL!

OPTION #2 – He is giving the kids a break from the initial “throw you into the lions den” of moving them in to her house after only knowing about her existence 6 months…so that in 6 more months he can slowly acclimate them to the idea that they are getting married and now looking for a “family” home they can all share together…Hello Brady Bunch!!

OPTION #3 – He is figuring out that he wants no one but himself, and he needs to be on his own, so he can do as he pleases, and if the kids get to feel the benefit in the long run, he can look like the hero!

I’m sure NONE of these are the truth, and I know I may never know because we don’t have a relationship like that – we don’t discuss those personal topics.  Regardless of his motivations, I am happy.  I am happy that the kids will potentially be able to get past their hurtful feelings toward their father and he can truly become a more active player in their lives.

…though I can’t say that I am looking forward to the increased exposure to him in MY life at this point.

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