Yes. I said my ex is Superman. I have been playing over an interaction with him that occurred this past weekend…it was the first of its kind in MANY months. I actually opened my mouth and allowed a few opinions and truths to spill out. Even though I knew that they would fall on deaf ears, as usual. No, I take that back, not “deaf” ears, but rather ears unable to comprehend what happens in the real world outside of his fantasy…
My image of Superman started only because I finally figured out that part of the reason I don’t seem to recognize this man is because he has changed his ‘appearance’. He has stepped out of the garment he wore which represented who he was when he was married to me. He took off the “responsible father, husband suit” that didn’t seem to fit so nicely and tried on this other more enjoyable “dress like I’m 21 again while I ride my newly purchased motorcycle and screw my paramour whenever I like it” suit.
…almost like a snake might shed his skin…
…so I tried to apply that analogy at first…because let’s face it, him being a snake would be so much more apropos, right?! However, Snake didn’t fit because it didn’t explain so many other issues…but Superman…Superman can parallel his new “Super Hero” mentality in the mocking way that is most appropriate.
When with me, he was Clark. He was “beaten down” and defeated. Much like the shy, awkward Clark who can’t speak up for himself. I didn’t recognize the superhero within often enough.
…Um, wasn’t it me that supported his every endeavor? Standing in the rain, six months pregnant with our third child, OR hanging out for hours with three kids under the age of 6 in tow to cheer him on at the transition point of the triathlons he decided he needed to enter every month or so?? Then he got his “sexy job”. Surely I was supposed to recognize his superhero status NOW! Oh, I can’t be mad that he travels all the time and is never home…don’t I know it’s his JOB to save the world. Forget his son’s baseball practice, game, banquet, OR his daughter’s straight ‘A’ report card celebration, OR helping his family move half way across the country on this new endeavor he chose for himself (he was still at training ya know) etc. the WORLD comes FIRST!
No. He needed to feel like the superhero he IS!! Quick phone booth strip down! Enter Lois…with the doe eyes dangling her “goods” for him…remember, the “Winner” satisfying his thirst… He has shed his previous persona (including and not limited to any and all people who used to be a part of the aforementioned persona) and donned the new superhero suit…with all the accoutrements to go along with it…her family, her friends, and for a short time, her home.
I’ve come to realize that it isn’t that I don’t recognize him because he is DIFFERENT in some way. Underneath the new suit is still that same Clark Kent that wanted to be recognized so badly.
Honestly, I hope the paramour can recognize the superhero in him, because we all need someone to believe in us, even if we are a schmuck. Unfortunately my Clark wasn’t so deserving as he never behaved like my hero.
I almost hate that I am soiling Superman in such a way…
Making Sense from MY Perspective 
You summarize what seems to happen with a clever analogy. I have come to realise that some men leave their wives (either literally or metaphorically) because they need to feel like that superhero. They cannot seem to remember their wives (when younger) standing there in the rain for them cheering them on. The more mature accomplished woman with wisdom, insights and experience does not feed their ego and super-hero requirements as much. That is their loss.
And that argument is what mistresses use to justify their existence…”you didn’t take care of your man, so he sought me out”…doesn’t make it acceptable.