I just love the conversations I have with my kids some days…
I was sitting down with my little munchkin yesterday when she was telling me about her day…
I’m so tired of the other kids in my class because they don’t behave the way that they should!
We got to talking about her classmates and what really bothered her about them. Apparently they like to talk and when she asks them to be quiet (my little studious bee) they mock her and tease. Essentially, they aren’t concerned for their studies and she is a “goodie two shoes”.
As a teacher, my heart goes out to her as well as admiration as she is trying to focus her learning so she can achieve her goals of good grades academically.
As a mother, I am frustrated that she has to suffer their poor work and study habits and disrespect of themselves and their teachers and peers.
As a human, I feel compassion that their influences are not such that they have been taught the difference between right and wrong with consequences in place to help demonstrate why it is important to do the right thing.
So which hat did I choose to don for this conversation with my little munchkin? I could have just as easily taken the parental defensiveness to come to her aid as I could have taken the supportive and encouraging teacher to show how she is doing the right thing and to keep up the hard work.
The path I chose was the human path…the one that recognizes compassion for others and their circumstances. We talked about how her classmates may not have the same supportive mommy at home like she does. They may not have anyone to cuddle them 8.5 out of 10 times (her accounting) they ask for cuddles. Their mommies may not have time to sit down with them and help guide them through their problems or encourage them to work through it on their own FIRST before being “rescued”. Maybe they may have to harden themselves to kindnesses because they’ve learned to expect they don’t come…
So I told her to instead show compassion and patience towards her classmates.
Why? You may ask…
She also made this comment…
someday I’ll have a job and I’ll be over them and I’ll get to tell them what to do then…
Oh no!
While I would love to say “THAT’S my girl! You go girl!” I recognize that this is an “I’m better than you” approach and I don’t want my little munchkin with those visions of grandeur. While I hope she is successful and makes something amazing of her life, and I believe that whatever she does, there will be people working for her; I also want her to understand that she doesn’t get to that place by stepping on others to do so.
She will get there of her own accord.
Because she’s an amazing little bee.
And along the way, she can show compassion and patience to those that will someday be her minions! 😉
Making Sense from MY Perspective 
Aww, she sounds too cute and very determined. My kind of girl. 😊
Well handled, mom, well handled.
Thank you! 🙂 …and yes, she is cute and determined…she is often referred to as my “mini-me”! (which makes me smile relentlessly)
hehe, i have had this exact conversation with my oldest… down to the ‘when im older theyll all be working for me’… he was 5 or 6 at the time, is 13 now… and still a rather arrogant fool at times lol.
i cant remember my exact words, something about the people who make his shoes and clothes and deliver his pizzas being just as important as people as he is, and that its good to want to be better. but be better, not better than. everybody contributes and everybody has value…
but, hes a teenage boy, and he is bigger and stronger, and he is smarter than many of his peers… i figure, one day, hell get that spear tackle on the field and perhaps think differently, but i dunno, i had to kick him in the shins recently because he doesnt say thank you to people (shop assistants/waiters etc) and he said ‘but theyre being paid’…
err, I PAY THEM… and i have manners, so i say thank you, find yours please. before someone spits in your coke.
we also had to have the ‘someone annoys me and it affects me negatively thats why i care’ talk recently also… oh well, i know people my own age who struggle with these things so hopefully i have time to beat it into him.
All we can do is present the lessons for our children and hope that when they find themselves in certain situations they can show that they learned something. 🙂 I often see my teen acting out lessons…and other times I just cringe. But I think it all generally gets worked out in the end.
“The path I chose was the human path…the one that recognizes compassion for others and their circumstances.”
Love this mantra. You are a kind compassionate person.
Hold on to that and never let it go.
Thank you. 🙂 I try hard. I often feel it is my nature to be judgmental and often I think harsh thoughts towards those who don’t exhibit traits I feel are reasonable. Though I catch myself before it comes through in actions and try to make sure that I instill in my children the trait that doesn’t seem to exist in my own psyche. A forever work in progress.