So next week Tuesday I get to sit in a counselor’s office to discuss my recently turned ‘teen’ daughter’s issues.
With my ex.
What do I say?
“I’m worried about her anger because she hates her father and is disrespectful to him”??…yet at the same time I don’t blame her for her feelings and I won’t tell her they aren’t justified.
Not that I’m encouraging them.
I just understand where they are coming from.
And I think she has every right to be angry. And hurt.
But she shouldn’t be so outright disrespectful toward her dad.
He thinks this is going to help her self-esteem…but he doesn’t acknowledge that HE is a BIG reason why she feels that she doesn’t measure up…cuz she feels that he LEFT her…that she isn’t worthy because HE LEFT!!
Men…take note (not that many men read my blog I’m sure…lol)
Your daughter will judge her worth based on how you treat your relationships with other women…
(namely their mothers…)
Don’t be a doormat…she will learn that she can boss men around and expect that they should do whatever she wants them to do…she will develop a complex that she is “better” than men.
Don’t be a “nice guy”…she may think it’s boring and find the “bad boy” who seems exciting to keep her attention.
Don’t be an asshole…she will expect that she deserves to be treated with disrespect and will allow any partner to do the same as you have done.
Don’t be aloof…she may think she needs to demean herself to keep a man’s attention…the one thing she truly desires.
Be respectful. Love completely. Live with integrity. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Protect the women in your life WITH your life…(mother, wife, daughter). Be silly. Be serious. Listen – and even more…REMEMBER!! Know who she is, and tell her all the parts of her you love specifically. Expect people to live up to their potential and endeavor to do the same yourself. Give your all…and then some…to your family first, then others. Don’t make her the center of your world…except when you are physically with just her…then she should be the number one focus.
Never leave her.
Never tell her that sometimes people fall out of love and they don’t make each other happy and then they have to split up.
I have an idea the picture he is going to try and paint to the counselor.
I’m afraid of falling into old habits and putting up the mirror…
I’m afraid of my own frustrations with him coming through…and this needs to be about her…even though it’s really about HIM!!
In my opinion, he’s making her go (and not the other two) because she is the most vocal and angry with him. She treats him disrespectfully, without correction from him. She is angry with him and behaves as such when they are together…the other two tell me of her behavior as well as me witnessing (and corrected her about it on more than one occasion).
The other two are resigned to the circumstances, even though they hate them and have their own feelings of displeasure with their dad…she is just the more ‘forward’ with her opinions/feelings.
I hope for clarity and peace on Tuesday when it all comes to pass.