Bad boys need not apply…well, maybe.

The guy I’m looking for doesn’t exist.

I know that…generally…but he should.

I’ve met many truly nice guys.  They are soft and squishy and moldable.  They want to please and they don’t really seem to have a strong opinion on any topic – unless of course it’s their prized sports team.  They’re like a good lap dog.  They’ll be there when you need them, maybe even follow you around the house, but generally hang out and just exist is perfectly content for them.

Sorry.  I already have a loyal dog.

I feel like such a bitch just knocking them…really I do.

And then you get the accusations that “girls always go for the bad boys” label…

it’s not that.

really.

it’s not.

kinda.

This is what appeals to women about a “bad boy” persona…

1.  They have an air of confidence in themselves and their abilities.  They have an aura of control or leadership.  Unfortunately in many “bad boys” this can be an arrogance that is soon translated into self-centered narcissism in many regards.  This is NOT the way women want it to translate.

2.  They understand how to court a woman – that they generally try to “win over” their affections in some regards.  Whether this is with small gifts or nice compliments or doing little things for her or flirting with her seductively, they invest (at least initially) to make a woman feel special.  Unfortunately in many “bad boys” this ends up being a used car sales man type technique where it looks good and it sounds good until you actually buy it…

3.  There is usually an air of testosterone surrounding the bad boy…a woman gets the idea that they would “fight” for them and there is a manly strength there that is endearing.  Unfortunately in many “bad boys” this can lead to meat-headedness and picking stupid fights or not know when it back down.

4.  They seem to have active, exciting lives.  Women like a man who can make a plan and then execute that plan.  If you’re doing all kinds of activities like playing on adult league sports teams, going on camping/hiking/boating trips, getting together with the guys for poker nights, etc. then a woman will read that as you can take care of yourself…totally sexy.  Unfortunately in many “bad boys” this translates to I’m taking care of numero-uno, and the woman can take care of herself (and them too when it gets down to it later) and ties back into the narcissistic tendencies.

The happy medium MUST exist somewhere out there!  The guy who is confident, but not arrogant, attentive without smothering or diminishing after the “win”, strong in demeanor and willing to fight for her interests when necessary, and able to take care of himself, as well as those around him when necessary, but also can allow someone else to take care of him once in awhile.  A true “give and take” partnership.

Honestly I do believe it exists.  Unfortunately I believe it exists in already solidified relationships, because let’s face it, who would let a great catch like that go??

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