The ex says these words. On a regular basis. They’re nice words. They’re complementary. A natural human response is to be appreciative…
…so why does every time he says it rub me the wrong way?
Why can’t I just accept his complement and go about my merry way?
Even when we were married, he actually used to get angry with me because I wouldn’t just say ‘thank you’.
I would stick my tongue out or just roll my eyes or something. Then it didn’t upset me, I just didn’t accept them easily I guess.
I know it’s more about me than it is about him…but I’m much more accepting from others.
For some reason, I think I never really believed what he was saying…that he was just ‘buttering me up’ with his empty complements.
It’s not that I don’t think I look good myself sometimes, because I do.
After awhile though, it became more about how I wasn’t responding to him in the way he expected me to, so there must be something wrong with me. He became agitated with me and then the whole situation was just a disappointment…for both of us.
After the initial separation, he tried to say the same kind of comments to me during interactions. At that time, they infuriated me. In my opinion, they were EMPTY and an attempt to elicit a response from me and thereby showing how HE was the bigger person because ‘see, look what a nice guy I am, and you’re such a bitch you can’t even politely accept a compliment’. I asked him respectfully to discontinue comments of that nature. He did…
But we’re right back there. Only now I politely respond ‘thanks’ and continue on about my way…
…keeping my true responsive feelings to myself.
He doesn’t need to know he has any affect on me.