My problem is…

I want people to acknowledge personal responsibility.

and maybe I expect this without acknowledging my own at the same time…

and that’s a problem too I guess…

Tonight I had a monkey wrench in my plans. I had an idea of how the night would go. I had plans to relax with some friends. Wine and cheese were front and center with conversation with the girls.

One of my children’s many extracurricular activities had a BINGO night fund raiser scheduled. The organizer is an alpha male type. His way is the only way, and of course the best way. All others are generally idiots is his normal demeanor. Just the kind of guy I really prefer to avoid if possible.

A general request to help out at the event had gone out. I had expressed that I was unavailable. I had worked hard on the last BINGO and I wasn’t all that impressed with the results for the efforts put forth, plus I’m feeling pretty stretched thin on all fronts right now as it is. Overwhelmed is an understatement with all the expectations of me at the current time. Regardless, I declined to help out at the event. I was hoping to have an evening of relaxation and connection with some girlfriends.

Last year’s BINGO event I was responsible for compiling the prizes. We had a few gift cards left over. About three + weeks ago I was asked what we had left (not by the organizer of this BINGO, but another guy). I responded with the list available. Nothing else was said.

A week ago or so the guy in charge talked about BINGO in general with me at the end of a practice. The gift cards were mentioned that he would be using them for the upcoming BINGO. No formal request was made, no arrangements were discussed about getting them to him or anyone else.  I SHOULD have just passed them along after the conversation because I knew he was going to use them. I didn’t. I just let it slip into the recesses of my mind. It wasn’t a pressing matter for me.

Fast forward to tonight. I’m working late and finally leave to head over to my friend’s house. My son calls at 7…”Mom, we need those gift cards.”

Seriously.

This is when you’re going to request them.

Through my son.

30 minutes before the event.

When I’m out – in the opposite direction from the event and my house.

Why wasn’t this already arranged by the coordinator of the event BEFORE the event.

When I dropped them off, I mentioned that I hadn’t been at home and I would have appreciated something before last minute to request the cards. He claimed that “he assumed” that since we had talked about it at the practice a week or so ago that I knew he wanted the cards for the event that night. Done. That’s it.

Ok. Yes. I guess I knew he wanted them. However, he did NOTHING to actually facilitate acquiring them from me. He sent out NO communication (email, text, phone call) requesting me get them to him through my child or dropped off specifically to him at a practice etc. Not even the night before when he SURELY had recognized that he did not have them in his possession.

I recognize that I should have gotten them to him before now. If for no other reason than it wouldn’t have cramped my plans because I wouldn’t have needed to drop everything to get them to him tonight.

I’m frustrated.

I recognize that I didn’t proactively make sure the cards got to him when I knew in the back of my mind that he was going to need them.

However I wanted him to recognize that he didn’t ever really ask for them. No courtesy request/reminder to ask for them so he was prepared for the event and I had time to get them to him before it all went down.

If I wasn’t a responsible person, I could have just let it hang and figured he was on his own. I wasn’t available and he would just have to figure it out last minute since he didn’t prepare in advance.

With my overwhelmed brain…the semblance of composure I have built crumbled. I fell apart. The night was done by the time all the running back and forth was done. I was frustrated, irritated, crabby, and defeated.

My own fault.

I know.

I could have handled things differently.

I SHOULD have handled things differently.

But it doesn’t change my irritation that personal responsibility wasn’t acknowledged on the other side…

About Making Sense from MY Perspective

I have a problem...I see myself through the eyes of my ex...and his glasses are not really the most flattering. I really need to get my own glasses...so this is MY Perspective.
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