I’ve always considered myself to be a realist.
I don’t consider everything sunshine and roses, because in truth and experience I know it isn’t.
But I also know from truth and experience that it isn’t all darkness and gloom.
This holiday I was made aware, by a friend, that I am a “10% focus”.
What she meant was that I focus on the 10% that sucks rather than the 90% that’s great.
I think she’s right.
I can have a classroom full of 25 students…I judge my performance on the results of 2 failing kids. Or the two parents that don’t appreciate or like what I’m doing for their child.
I can have a great weekend with my kids, but I would perseverate on some small thing that indicated they “maybe” had an issue or a problem.
I could have a whole team encouraging me to accomplish some task, yet I would self deprecate to show just how undeserving or turn the spotlight away from my own accomplishment…show my unworthiness.
I could have a seamless week and it could all come unhinged with one interaction with the ex.
I do this so quickly and easily that I don’t really even recognize I’m doing it.
I feel the pressure.
I feel the pain.
I feel the reality.
It’s not sunshine and roses.
But how much does my 10% focus contribute to my pain.
How much does my 10% focus contribute to my outlook.
I have three AMAZING kids…and I do mean AMAZING. They are so resilient and perceptive and thoughtful and smart and…I could go on and on. I love being their mom. I am so PROUD to be their mom.
I’ve got a great job I enjoy; teaching kids. I enjoy finding ways to connect with students. I enjoy getting to know the kids and playing with the curriculum in interesting ways.
I have and handful of friends that I care deeply for and that I know I can count on if I ever need them for ANYTHING.
I have my health. Which isn’t always perfect (I do teach you know) but it’s easily dealable. My 10% focus seems to work in reverse with these kinds of things! 😉
I’ve always wanted to start a gratitude journal..
I think this may be the year to finally make that a goal.
Time to focus on the 90%.