Day to day…getting by

I’ve been absent for awhile…things have been hectic and I’ve been trying to get to a better mental state.

Or at least I’m trying not to ‘over’dwell on the disappointment in my own life circumstances.

Lately the ex has been needy.

He had a minor motorcycle accident that resulted in a shattered collar bone. He required surgery to put in a plate across the top of his clavicle to hold together the pieces while they refused.

This surgery occurred over mine and the kids’ spring break.

He required help. He said he would need the kids to help ‘nurse’ him after the surgery because he would be limited in what he could/ couldn’t do. I set up a routine for them to help in day/night shifts.

I offered to pick him up from the hospital when it was finished, since I would need to drop one of the kids off at his place anyway to help.

That offer turned into also dropping him off, going to the pharmacy to get prescriptions filled, supplemental grocery shopping so the kids would have things to eat/prepare while they were at his place, and helping the kids develop a schedule for the medications he was needing to take and helping them organize things to better understand what they needed to do for him…

Two days of my spring break were dedicated to helping him…

He was thankful and polite. He was appreciative and apologetic.

I was sick to my stomach.

Dating hasn’t been going well.

I can’t seem to attract the men I’m attracted to, and the ones that are attracted to me I am far from seeing as attractive. I don’t want to have to ‘talk myself into’ being attracted to someone.

It’s just been frustrating.

I would really like the ease of a comfortable male relationship…someone to enjoy spending time together…flirting…chatting on occasion…feeling excited to see them…feeling desirable…

The kids are well enough. They are busy as usual. My soon to be 14 year old 8th grade daughter is hormonal and stressed…she frets about her body image because she isn’t the size 2 many of her friends are…comparing herself to her peers regularly and not feeling that she measures up is affecting her…especially when most comparing goes on at swim team. All in swimsuits leaves little to the imagination and she can’t hide her body…even if she wants to. She is a beautiful girl, she is just crafted differently than stick thin. I try to explain to her daily that she is beautiful how she is and if she can accept who she is and be happy with herself, she will see that there are others that all love and accept her and are happy with her too.

So, all in all, things are trudging along…hope all is well in your perspective ‘neck of the woods’!


About Making Sense from MY Perspective

I have a problem...I see myself through the eyes of my ex...and his glasses are not really the most flattering. I really need to get my own this is MY Perspective.
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2 Responses to Day to day…getting by

  1. I think it is a lot (for him) to expect the children to nurse him. That would be an added sense of responsibility for them that would not have occurred had the separation not occurred. What happened to the new person in his life? I do so understand your frustration.
    As for the dating, it is a thought furthest from my mind at the moment so can offer no advice.

    • I thought it was a lot myself…but I figured they would figure that out on their own. Right now, they understand compassion and don’t see how he is being selfish asking them to give up time for him that he would begrudgingly (if at all) give for them if roles were reversed…

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