Needed vs. Wanted

I think I have determined what I am looking for in a partner at this point in my life.

I want someone who wants to be with me.



I have LOTS of people who ‘need’ me. I feel needed regularly. And while feeling needed is definitely a warm fuzzy sometimes…I think I have an overabundance of “needing” me.

I have three kids.

They ALL need me…MOST of the time for something or another.

I have a classroom full of students.

They ALL need me…MOST of the time for something or another.

I have an ex-husband.

He needed me MOST of our marriage for something or another. Luckily, now, the ‘needing me’ requests happen less and less. (though I was asked what he should do about something recently and when I answered a bit short, he replied with a “well, you were the one who always knew about this shit”…seriously? yeah, I get that. but now you need to find someone ELSE to know about that shit for you…you CHOSE THAT PATH!!)

I have coworkers who need me right now because of some restructuring that happened (see previous post).

I have friends who have needed me more heavily than I was able to provide, and now we are no longer friends (their choice, not mine).

I just want someone who WANTS to be with me…without NEEDING to ‘get’ anything out of it. Just spend some enjoyable time together. No expectations. No parameters to be met. No ‘needs’ to be fulfilled. Just WANTS to be with me.


Because they enjoy me.

Not because they NEED something from me.


About Making Sense from MY Perspective

I have a problem...I see myself through the eyes of my ex...and his glasses are not really the most flattering. I really need to get my own this is MY Perspective.
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3 Responses to Needed vs. Wanted

  1. I can relate to this post SO much. I am gradually finding that in other people, as in NOT a partner. That is making me feel much more appreciated for who I am. It has taken me some time to accept that people do really care for me for myself (because the ego got such a battering).

    • I think i’ve always had little clusters of friends that fill that side of the need for me. I have a few different groups of women who all support and commisserate together. 🙂 I’ve just alwas desired a more intimate partner too, I guess. It hasnt changed since even before i was divorced. I realized too long ago that the partner i picked initially just wasnt that ‘fill’ for me either…i just had always expected that it was my problem to deal with – until he cheated and made a decision for me.

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