I haven’t written recently because things have been generally going along smoothly and I typically turn to my keyboard when I’m working through a tough moment. The summer has been going by fairly well though. I am teaching summer school (only 1/2 days Mon thru Thurs) and spending time with the kids and recharging. I switch grade levels next year, so I’m planning my new year also. I guess I have things to distract me. Plus, I took myself off the online dating sites. I think the stressors of dating removed help to even me out also…I’m not judging myself and coming up short because I don’t have the kind of activity I want happening in the dating world. I’ve started trying to resign myself to understand that I may just be designed to be alone. I don’t really hope that’s the case, but it seems to be the reality and I choose to be a realist so I’m surrendering to the truth.
The kids are doing well enough. I’m enjoying having my son back with me more regularly because I have him since I’m home more often. My ex did have them for a week and a half which was difficult because I missed them terribly, but that’s passed now so I’m enjoying the time we do have. He is preparing for his senior year, which is making me sad, excited, and apprehensive all at the same time. I love him and know he is a great kid…but great kids can frustrate parents just as easily as problem children…just maybe not as often or to as severe a degree. I truly am thankful for that blessing.
I still pine away for a better location/community. I’m not feeling any more connected to this area the longer I stay, which helps fuel my research into other areas within the US to move once the time comes…six years isn’t really that long. Not to mention that I need that time to prepare for the financial burden that will result when the supports all end and my income is reduced by more than 50%. I think that is going to be the most difficult for me, but hopefully living on my own with the kids all grown will be significantly less expensive in many regards. I’m counting on it at least!
So, I guess I don’t really have much going on to tell. I went back and read some earlier posts and I always find my story to be like an out of body experience…like it must have happened to someone else…but the reminders are there that it is the reality I live daily. I still sometimes wonder how I got to this place. I just try not to throw a pity party as often if I can help it. I realize I truly am blessed in so many ways.
Well, I wish you well blog friends…hope you’re going along smoothly as well!