I’ve come here to vent…I’ve come here to sort…I’ve come here in search of validation in some regards…

I am 39 and the mother to three amazing children, one in each level of school before you reach college, and a full time 5th grade teacher…so I’m extremely busy.  My children each have their respective “activity” and I am in 100% support.  I love them all dearly, and while they are my life in many regards, I know they are separate and I want them to be!  I endeavor to make them strong, independent, compassionate, and giving human beings.

August 2011, one week before starting my first full time job in 13 years, I was told by my ex that he had been having an affair for the previous 6 months.  During that time we had just started settling in to the 3rd new state his job brought us to one and a half years prior AS WELL AS bought what I had hoped to be the “raise the kids up in” home (on HIS salary, mind you).  Upon finding out, I kicked him out immediately and told him we needed to work on the marriage in a big way and that I hoped we could do that, but that he would need to work his way back in.  Truly, I begged him to work on it (and no, it wasn’t pretty)…he wasn’t really interested in that.  We’ve been divorced officially since May 2013.

I do not wish to be defined by this event, however I find myself constantly tied up in the day to day of it and want to make sure I don’t lose myself in it.  I am a good mom, a good teacher, a good friend, and I deserve more.  Right now, I just need a place to sit down, tell my stories, and feel connected to something bigger than what’s happened/happening to me…thanks for visiting.


9 Responses to About

  1. LFFL says:

    Vent all you like!

  2. Michelle says:

    We walk a parallel life.

  3. Michelle says:

    Send me your email please to missivesbymichelle.com

  4. I tried to email you just before Christmas…did you not receive it? lol

  5. Eddy Bell says:

    How do I subscribe to your blog?

  6. zombiedrew2 says:

    Thanks for finding my blog. My situation is similar but different. I thought that my wife and I were “living the dream”. I thought our relationship was good, two kids, I had a great job that let us live a pretty good life.

    Then one day the floor dropped out under me. My wife had never told me she wasn’t happy, had never told me that there were any issues, nothing. Suddenly her body language changed, she wasn’t happy, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be married anymore, and she just completely checked out on me emotionally.

    We became roommates, living in the same house while I tried to understand what had happened and hold my family together. All the while she wouldn’t talk with me, wouldn’t try to work on things or even tell me what was wrong.

    I turned to blogging as a way of making sense of the world and trying to piece together what had happened to my life. 2 1/2 years later we’re still together. It took a trial separation and me starting down the road to divorce before she would show any willingness to work on our issues. And even now, she’s not really engaged and I wonder if she wants a life with me, or the life I provide.

    You mentioned you are a good mom, teacher, friend etc. Never lose sight of that. The way people treat you is more a reflection of them then it is a reflection of you. You deserve a chance at a life of happiness. No matter what ridiculous things your ex does, never stop believing in yourself.

    • I’m so sorry you have had to experience the heartache of lost love. It is a debilitating and devastating experience to try and figure out, much less attempt to reclaim. I’m impressed with your willingness and determination to try and make a difference for things to be better. Communication is key and also usually the biggest barrier when it’s lacking. I wish you luck and clarity for both you and your wife about the path that is best for your family. Thanks for reading and commenting…

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